i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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