last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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