shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
