Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize