after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
