you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
