how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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