i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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