turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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