She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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