You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
