eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
