the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles