I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?