That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
