Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
