Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
