i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
