Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
