Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
