He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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