You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
