I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
