capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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