every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
