ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
