My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So many bounce houses so little time
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
