i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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