I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He better not be in your backpack
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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