guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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