dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize