Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize