Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
