kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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