how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
