i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
