im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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