Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
