he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
