Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
