I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
