worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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