I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
