i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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