Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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