I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize