What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
