Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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