i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
