My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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