Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
