she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.