i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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