8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?