Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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