she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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