So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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