Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
