speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
