nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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